The Griswolds | Cowboys and Crossbones

Where’s Cousin Eddie when you need him?

Dirty Santa parties are fun. But they’re even more fun when played at work. With booze. Lots of booze.

Who would party without this? Who?!

In between Dirty Santa steals, I was honored to take part in my buddy Thing 1’s first ever selfie.

Selfie success after 1,285 attempts.

Thing 1 fell so in love with the idea of selfies, he kept snapping pictures of us instead of others.

Can’t stop. Won’t stop with the selfies.

And while we were in selfie heaven, virtual presents started rolling in for yours truly. My fellow cat lady Kimberly and her hubs found a perfect sized flask for all of my needs…

Wonder why they thought of me?

And this cute little starter kit keeps finding its way onto my Facebook page…Pete, Michelle, Mama CBXB and Aunt Crazy Pants have all seen these little faces and thought appropriate for me. Ted would like me to tell you to “go fuck yourself” (his words, not mine) as our hands are full with New Cat.

Purrrfect present for me.

One of my besties, Princess Rosebud, (Enchanted Seashells herself!) snail mailed me a prezzie with the best gift tag ever…

And this is why I love her.

My boss and his wife need to get to know me a little better because they gifted me this shit for Christmas…

Sparkly skull Uggs. I can now die happy.

Speaking of gifting, it was time to shell out my hard-earned $60 for prescription cat food (you know, low maintenance Ted has kitty Celiac’s disease) this weekend and New Cat acted like it was Christmas morning upon seeing the food bin full.

See, Ted told you our hands were full with this pussy.

Bowl full of food but New New still feels the need to eat like a pig at a trough.

As my pussy was stuffing his tuxedo face, my sweet little Iowa niece Princess B was experiencing her first sugar cookie of the season.

Face full of cookie.

Meanwhile, her brother Prince B was more interested in climbing ladders.

Life father, like son.

You wanna know why Nashville is so fun? It’s still ‘small’ enough that you can be out and about and run into peeps you know…like old gal pals from previous jobs.

Iowa girls rock (and we know it).

Speaking of gal pals, it was First Mate’s birthday which most definitely called for some sneaky surprise celebrating (isn’t that the best way?).

Have hats, will party.

Winding the weekend down called for some sexy CBXB lingerie. Being that it’s holiday time and I am in love with everything Griswold family, I slipped into the sexiest t-shirt I could locate…

Slipping into something ultra comfortable.

Yes, please save the neck for me, Clark.

Good thing this little guy could care less what I am wearing, just as long as he can lay on it.

Christmastime cuddles.

Now go slip into something comfy and enjoy the rest of this holiday week.

Cheers!

CBXB

You know the old saying ,”the family that Wapatoolies together, stays together?”

Oh you’re not familiar? Allow me to explain…

My dad and me sharing our first Wapatoolie. How sweet.

Every summer, my family tends to meet up at the Lake of the Ozarks and act like misfits from the Griswold family.

Heathens at their finest.

It was at the Ozarks where yet another one of our classy family traditions (which also include Jell-O and moonshine shots) was born. Allow me to introduce you to…

The Wapatoolie

Looking just as refreshing as lake water, I know.

According to family legend (which was told by my dad, who is known for streeeeeeeeetching out a story or two), the Wapatoolie was first introduced to him and his twin (yes, there is a replica of my father….a story for another day) while at a college party with the Wisconsin football team.

Blow Hard 1 and Blow Hard 2 sharing the same farmer’s tan.

As the story goes, a party was unfolding where the two twins above were innocent bystanders. With zero prodding, my dad boasted that he bravely took a shot of a Wapatoolie (ingredients consist of whatever the hell is in your bar at the time). Hand to Jesus, I swear I could see his chest puffing up with each oooh and ahhh he received from the Band of Griswold Misfits.

The story ended with a quote only a college football legend (again, a story for another day) could utter….”The Badgers started it but it took a Hawkeye to refine it.”

No shit.

Definitely not from a college kid’s bar but a recipe for tastiness nonetheless.

Before the last syllable of the tall tale could be sputtered, us cousins were extremely busy at work mixing a Wapatoolie for the ~~bullshitter~~ storyteller.

Mix Masters.

Tequila, bourbon, whiskey, white and spiced rum, margarita mix, vodka and gin topped with a dash of creamy Bailey’s…

Feels so good when it hits the lips.

The following evening, my cousins (all of whom are male on this side of the family, which probably just explained everything you needed to know) decided if their stud of an uncle could stomach a Wapatoolie, they could too.