Tag Archives: leopard duct tape

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My Pussy, the Bitch

Teddy Bear can really be a little bitch sometimes.

Missing man.

Worse than a junior high school girl hitting puberty.

And now that Ted has a partner in crime – New Cat – they can be such little bitches together.

Two times the trouble.

Two times the trouble.

The past few weeks, I might as well be getting up to nurse a fucking newborn because Mr. Bear starts meowing (in which he sounds like a tiny sheep) around 3am.

Then he comes in a little closer to the bed at 3:04 am.

A little louder and just out of arm’s reach at 3:07am.

I put the pillow over my head, turn my sound machine up and all of a sudden my little sheep cat is roaring his head off like a lion.

Fierce.

Fierce.

Then, because he idolizes his big bro, NC starts chiming in and together they sound like a jacked up version of a church choir.

And then bitches about it.

NOT pitch perfect.

When Tedstar first started doing this, I’d get my ass up to coax him back to bed but he wanted to play chase. Such fun every night at 3:13am.  I would go to pick him up and he’d run (for what seemed like his life – I might as well have been threatening to de-claw him with pliers) under the kitchen table. As soon as I’d crouch down by the table, he’d race into the bathroom behind the toilet, and so on…therefore, I started to ignore him.  Because he’s really just seeing if I will get up and give into him, right?

I never ever ever ever ever give in to this face. Ever.

I never ever, ever, ever, ever give in to this face.
Ever.

Well, this bitch means business. So much so, I was considering how to reupholster a section of my vintage sofa that used to belong to my Gma.  As I was getting my beauty sleep amid the white noise of my sound machine (on the highest volume setting) TB was up to no good (with assistance by Mr. Tuxedo, I’m sure).

Teddy Krueger’s version of a temper tantrum.

Of course I couldn’t find the little shits when I discovered this treasure and racked my brain contemplating how to patch this corner (the front, exposed so everyone can see it corner, naturally).  And I came up with a solution that fit right in with my eclectic, budget conscious household. Duct tape.

Leopard duct tape.

Growing up, I my dad taught me that duct tape can fix anything (even your big, fat glasses in 3rd grade. You simply put the duct tape over the piece that snapped off, which in my case was right in the middle, where the glasses sit on one’s nose and pretend as if nothing is wrong. Which is why much to my delight, I was nicknamed Ducky. Kids are so sweet).

Hello Gorgeous

Pre-Ducky break.

In my current case, applying my father’s knowledge, I found leopard duct tape and ‘reupholstered’ the corner of my couch.

Cheapest (and probably cheapest looking) DIY job ever! But it does the trick.

The $4 duct tape fix. Dad’s practical solution!

In reality, Teddy was just trying to help me spruce up my space a tad. Because once he got his claw stuck in the duct tape, he never set his sights on my couch again.

Oh, and those 3am wake up cries? Seems the cats were needing food, as I was forgetting to feed them before bed (guess this would be why I don’t have kids).

So now, I feed the damn pussies at night and all of my furniture has remained in tact.

For now.

CBXB

CBXB!

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Keep Calm and Tape On

I have such an ongoing love affair with tape, my last name should be Scotch. I’ve used leopard duct tape to decorate planters (click here to view) and to spruce up my vintage couch Teddy sank his claws into because I forgot (mom of the year!) to feed him (to read about His Royal Highness’ bitchiness, click here).

I am always looking for ways to spruce up my mini-manse (with no budget, of course) without adding to the volume of belongings I already stuff into every nook and cranny of my place without becoming a featured episode on Hoarders.  So here’s my newest creation that cost a whopping $4.49.

Laundry Wing in my mini-manse complete!

Laundry Wing in my mini-manse complete!

Every time I walk through my front door (my only door to the outside world), the first thing I see is the bland Laundry Wing of my mini-manse (the doors slide open and without having to move an inch, you’re in the laundry room – lucky me not having to burn any extra calories walking to the other side of my place!).

From plain

Ho Hum Laundry Wing

I’ve often thought about painting the doors but never took the plunge, as I want my security deposit back (if I ever leave renter’s land). So when I spotted a roll of black masking tape at work, I had an Aha! moment. Why haven’t I considered my beloved tape for a DIY project? Hello blonde moment.

Here’s what you’ll need to spruce up any wing (with doors) in your very own manse:

Scissors. Your choice color of tape.

Be sure you choose a matte type of tape – the shinier the tape’s surface, the more flaws will show (uneven cut lines in my case).

Cut. Tape. Very hard.

Cut tape. Apply. Very hard.

I started eyeball ‘measuring’ the pieces by lining them up with the lines below and cutting the tape just a little longer.

blah

As I moved on, I cut the tape at an angle.  When I did a straight cut, the corners seemed thick and uneven (I’m such a perfectionist with my eyeballing of measurements and all).

I tried to angle the corners to save me later

After seeing my initial result I was in LOVE (and thought I was an instant interior designer, patting myself on the back).  I had to apply two layers of tape for each crevice but by using the black matte color you can barely tell (unless your eyes are centimeters away from the doors).

Hmm

Once I finished all of the doors, I was worried that the masking tape might not be adhesive enough to last as long as I wished.  So I got out my trusty Mod Podge in another moment of my sheer geniusness (these moments are very far and few between for me).

Modge Podge and sponge brush for corners or thin layer around all tape.

Mod Podge I had on hand (but would cost you about $5.00 if you didn’t). Foam brush, $0.99.

A very thin coat of my favorite gloss-lustre did the trick.

blah

And now here’s what I see as I prance into my lair…

Go give your own Laundry Wing some love!

All of my other boring white doors in various wings of my mini-manse are so jealous.

Can you blame them?

CBXB

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Leopard Lovin’ Pot

**Update: It is now 2018 and I still have this decorative flower pot. AND I keep it outside year round in Tennessee.**

I don’t really care for the plain and usual if it can be funky and fabulous.

And after my couch mending (see My Cat is Bitchier Than Your Cat), I thought of another way to use the leopard duct tape (it’s not just for couch corners and eye glasses anymore, folks!) for sprucing up my flowerpots.  I always want the pretty, colored planters but hate parting with the loot (happy hours aren’t always cheap when you drink a fine liquor like Captain Morgan – well specials just won’t cut it), so I usually stick with the boring old plastic containers. And then, a stroke of genius appeared with the little miracle of duct tape (once again, Dad’s right. It really can be used for everything).

Here’s what you’ll need:

Get your favorite duct tape (I’d do anything but the silver. Then it really looks like you’ve broken the pot and are taping it back together. You’re classier than that!), scissors and packing tape.

Cut the duct tape into strips – I did about 4″-5″ per piece. If you do anything longer, the tape will start to bend up and the lines won’t be as straight (I’m a picky perfectionist – if it doesn’t bother you, don’t worry about it).

Once you have covered the entire pot with the decorative duct tape, use the clear packing tape over the entire area (same size of strips). This will help the duct tape from peeling and acts as a water barrier if you keep your plant outside (it’s rained for days since my pot received its makeover and all tape is still in tact).

I’ve never seen a fern quite so happy to be confined to a flowerpot, have you?

And that my fabulous friends is how to turn a boring old brown flowerpot into some fine lookin’ flower power. Get to it!

CBXB

CBXB!

 

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My Cat is Bitchier Than Your Cat

How my feline friend lead me to become a creative master in the art of reupholstering.

Teddy Bear can really be a little bitch sometimes.

Touchy Teddy B, sticking his tongue out instead of smiling. He’s worse than a Jr. High girl going through puberty. Seriously.

Lately, I might as well be getting up to nurse an f’ing newborn because TB starts meowing (in which he sounds like a tiny sheep) around 3am. Then he comes in a little closer to the bed at 3:04 am. A little louder and just out of arm’s reach at 3:07am. I put the pillow over my head, turn my sound machine up and all of a sudden my little sheep cat is roaring his head off like a lion.

When he first started doing this, I’d get up to coax him back to bed but he wanted to play chase. Such fun every night at 3:13am.  I would go to pick him up and he’d run (for what seemed like his life – I might as well have been threatening to de-claw him with pliers) under the kitchen table. As soon as I’d crouch down by the table, he’d race into the bathroom behind the toilet, and so on…therefore, I started to ignore him.  Because he’s really just seeing if I will get up and give into him, right?

Well, this cat means business. So much so, I was considering how to reupholster a section of my vintage sofa.  As I was getting my beauty sleep amid the white noise of my sound machine (on the highest volume setting) TB was up to no good.

Here’s Ted’s interpretation of a temper tantrum (again, like a Jr. High girl):

Teddy Krueger at his finest.

Of course I couldn’t find the little shit when I discovered this treasure and racked my brain contemplating how to patch this corner (the front, exposed so everyone can see it corner, naturally).  And I came up with a solution that fit right in with my eclectic, budget conscious household. Duct tape.

Growing up, I my dad taught me that duct tape can fix anything (even your big, red glasses in 3rd grade. You simply put the duct tape over the piece that snapped off, which in my case was right in the middle, where the glasses sit on one’s nose and pretend as if nothing is wrong. Which is why much to my delight, I was nicknamed Ducky. Kids are so sweet). In my current case, applying my father’s knowledge, I found leopard duct tape and ‘reupholstered’ the corner of my couch.

Cheapest (and probably cheapest looking) DIY job ever! But it does the trick.

The $4 duct tape fix. Leopard duct tape, $3.99 for one roll. Target. Dad’s practical solution!

In reality, Teddy was just trying to help me spruce up my space a tad. Because once he got his claw stuck in the duct tape, he never set his sights on my couch again. Oh, and those 3am wake up cries? Seems he was needing food, as I was forgetting to feed him before bed (guess this would be why I don’t have kids). So now, I feed the damn bear at night and all of my furniture has remained in tact. For now.

CBXB